Yes, i am still alive. :)

Well, I've realized a few different things in the last couple of weeks:

1. I SUCK at blogging. haha
I have my facebook account that I always update pictures on and keep up with people on, but i realized that I don't exactly tell any stories or funny things that happened to me on there, so i swear to be better.

2. i absolutely LOVE living on my own.
I live in Wyview apartments here at BYU with my 2 adorable roommates hilary norton and lyndsie jones. I'm so glad that we decided to room together because we all just kinda click in our own weird ways and we do EVERYTHING together. We know all the same people and just do everything except for shower together (sometimes) :)

3. i am a different person than i was even 1 month ago.
Living here, being here, making all my own decisions, doing (or not doing) my homework, having a calling, having a REAL job and prioritizing my time has made me take a step back and look at myself and realize that i am my own person. Everything that happens and that i do relies on me and what i choose to do in a situation. Its a strange sense of excitement mixed with a dose of anxiety, but it urges me onward. Hello, just call me Arostotle. haha but seriously I feel like adulthood was just kinda thrust upon me and i do have to say i have been handling it well. I've had a few trip ups here and there but i think i'm going to be able to do this whole adulthood thing just fine.

4. i miss my room
i went home today for the first time in about 2 weeks and spent some much needed family time. My family and i have always been pretty close, but during my senior year of high school i got very distanced from them. i was never home thanks to drill, chamber choir, calculus and my boyfriend. But moving out has almost made me closer to them. i miss them now and want to come home more often just to hang out with them! anyways i went home and took a nap in my bed at home and i wasn't sure if i was ever coming back to my apartment. haha there is just something so comforting about being around something packed with so many memories that just attracts you and traps you. I missed the waffle pattern on my bed spread. I missed the panicked eating at dinner, i missed my grandma with her red sparkly hair, i missed my little brother and sister who are living in the center of my parents world, i missed my mom and her funny comments when she tries to fill silence and put things into my mouth when i sleep with it open. I missed my dad with his funny, yet serious presence in the house. and last but not least, i missed my clanky fan that provides the much needed white noise so that i can sleep peacefully.

5. i will always have feelings for him.
No matter how hard i try, or how much my brain and everyone else says i'm crazy, i will always feel some sort of connection to him. An attraction that i can't explain or decipher. and i don't mind it.

i think i'm getting a hold of this blogging thing. :) toodles