A New Beginning

{As a pre-cursor, I wrote this a while ago, but didn't finish it. I tried out months ago, but I wanted to keep it in the same language as when I had just written it. Enjoy!}

Last week while on my usual stalking rounds on my computer at work, I stumbled upon an ad for auditions for a group called Noteworthy. I'd seen them preform a few times; Once outside the WILK between classes, and the other on a reality TV show aired on NBC called "The Sing-Off". The group is made up of 9 ladies, all attending BYU, and all LDS.

When I came across this ad the date was Sept 1, and the tryout was on Sept 3. Anyone else you probably know would say that's not enough time to get ready but with my personal motto always with me (If you never try, you'll never know) I knew I had to at least go out and give it my all. That very next day, I signed up for a 6:50 audition time and went in and sang my song, not thinking much of it, but checked my email at the pre-appointed time, and saw that I had a callback!

The next day callbacks started at 9am. Being a naieve as I was, I thought they were going to last maybe and hour or 2, but when 1:00pm rolled around, I knew I was severely mistaken. After the final cut there were 7 of us left, with 4 spots to make it into.

{Now, I should probably go over my thoughts at this point with you. Before we started call-backs and all the girls were there, the Noteworthy ladies were talking about all the amazing experiences they had had as a group. They were on NBC's The Sing Off, went to Hong Kong, and travelled all around the country to sing! I seriously didn't know they were that big of a deal, I had heard they were on The Sing Off, but I didn't really think they were that well-known. As we started learning at call-backs I realized that maybe I could do this! I don't usually doubt myself, because I don't get my hopes up in fear that I'm going to be disappointed. But, sadly that was not to be the case with this group. As soon as they started talking, being themselves and teaching the choreography I knew I wanted in, and there was no turning back!}

When there were 7 of us left they told us to go home but keep our schedules open so we could come back for an interview. I went home and told my roommates all about what had happened at tryouts and they were as shocked as I was! None of us really knew what I was getting myself into. I didn't know how long it would be until my interview, but I decided to go out to the pool with all of my roommates. We were out there for about 15 minutes when they called and asked me to come back in about an hour for my interview.

Now, the interview, actually isn't called an interview. It's been officially named "The Circle of Intimidation". It's really the perfect name because all of the current members of the group sit down in a circle around you and ask you questions. The ask you about your major, something about yourself, your love life, etc. While you are answering the questions they all just STARE at you. At the end they have you pick a favorite hymn and I chose "Lead Kindly Light". We all sang it together Accapella (of course) they hummed the harmonies while I sang the melody. After we ended the song, they told me I could leave and they would call me later to let me know if I had made it.

At this point I was COMPLETELY exhausted. I came home though and was supposed to go to the BYU football game with my two roommates. We piled in a car and headed over to the stadium. While we were there I realized that I had forgotten to charge my phone the night before, and it was about to die. Mind you this was the worst thing that could possibly happen considering they were going to call me about my tryout. {For some reason I thought that if I didn't answer or something they would give my spot away...} As soon as my phone wouldn't revive I couldn't take it any longer and I left the game. I plugged my phone in and there had been no missed calls or texts. At this point I was getting a little discouraged, but then I was also very confused. What exactly does "later" mean? Sometimes my phone doesn't record missed calls if it's turned off, maybe they called I just don't know! What if they have my wrong phone number?

As all these thoughts are rolling around in my head I realized that I had gotten Kelsey's (The director) number just in case. So I started to text her "Hey Kelsey! This is McKenzie from tryouts today! My phone died..." and in the middle of my text I started to recieve a call from "Noteworthy" {That's what I had Kelsey's phone number under}. I answered it and it indeed was Kelsey.

Kelsey: Is this McKenzie?
Me: Uh huh
Kelsey: This is Kelsey from Noteworthy.
Me: Uh huh
Kelsey: I have a question for you!
Me: Uh huh? {Yes, I know I sound like a stammering idiot which I totally regret now}
Kelsey: Would you like to be in Noteworthy?
{After this I just kept saying dumb things like: Are you serious? No way! You're kidding me! I really should have written something out.}

And there you have it. I am officially part of Noteworthy. I guess now I have been a part of the group for about 2 1/2 months. I have learned so much from this group of girls and the
performances that we have gotten to do. I know it's a little late to put this on here, since it was a few months ago, and I haven't blogged in a really long time, but I feel like this is going to be a very important part in my life. And that is what this is all about, right? Sharing things that are important to me? Well there you have it, I love NW, and hopefully you will too!

Here is a bit of the fun I've been able to have with them in these past 2 months:

Singing outside the WILK

Singing our way around the strip in Vegas! (We made $80 for singing 3 impromptu songs!)

Here is lovely picture Titi (Katie) took of all us "try-outers" {There I am in the back!}

Singing "How Great Thou Art" at the Sweet Adaline Concert

Dear Sweet Katie who can fit her whole fist in her mouth. :)

Met Senator Orrin Hatch {and I TOTALLY knew who he was!}

Lizzy {or Lizz-tron} with her gorgeous natural locks.

Sometimes we are famous enough to be on grocery store marquees!
{On the opposite side it said something about the "Hump and Bump" on Saturday at 7. ???}

Our trip to Boise. One of the BEST experiences I've had.

The BEST part: Having cute little fans that know you by name and want you to sign any scrap of paper they can find. Makes me ego grow a little.

And that is what I have been up to. If you want to hear us come perform sometime, just leave a comment, become a fan on facebook, or check out our website for more info!


It never felt so good to be widsom-less.

Yesterday I got my wisdom teeth out. All 4, impacted. I was nervous going into to surgical room, as one should be. They hooked me up to a heart monitor which beeped everytime my heart thumped, which gave my nervousness away because a new doctor came in and i heard the monitor's beeps speed up.


Here is the nervous patient in Fig 1.1

After the heart monitor hook-up, they gave the laughing gas, which made me feel all tingly and I didn't like it at all. It also freaked me out because I thought they may have forgotten that I was supposed to be under general anesthesia. But soon they were making me pump my fist to find the vein to insert the magic juice into. As soon as the needled pierced my skin I could feel me starting to get really light. Afraid about floating up and hitting the ceiling, I closed my eyes and woke up in a different room. The nurse was there talking to my mom, and there was gauze stuffed in my mouth. Thank heaven for magic juice.

When I got home I found ice packs to help calm down the swelling, but as you can imagine, if you even turn in the slightest they will start to reduce the swelling in your neck and chest, which isn't exactly what we need.


After discovering this, the invention of a lifetime came into my aid:


You never knew 2 gym socks tied around your head, filled with ice, deserved a thumbs-up now did you? Well this little contraption, fondly named the "Green Goblin", makes things a bit more bearable.

Ben was also over here all yesterday, watching chick flicks, feeding me ice cream and refilling my ice packs, being my knight in shining armor. I couldn't ask for more!

Day two is upon us now, we'll see what it has in store!


Call Me Irresponsible

First off, I will officially accept my "Worst Blogger Ever" award. I know I don't have many readers/followers or fans, but I'm a people-pleaser so when I hear a complaint I am quick to make it right!

Secondly, I'm having a hard time with blogging. There are trendy blogs, like my roommate, darling Hilary's. There are thought-dumping/thought-provoking blogs such as Lyndsie's. There are hilarious blogs, like my best friend Ashley "Helga" Palmer's. There are also heart-touching blogs, like Stephanie's. Up to this point I feel like my blog would be known as "blah land and the little black rain cloud" and I really don't want that to be what it is. I'm not an eloquent writer, but I feel like I could grow and learn a lot from keeping up around here. I guess I just need to get rid of this blogging block and embrace and inevitable.

Third, I'm in love so that may be another reason why I can't seem to make sense of anything, in the real world or cyber space.

Fourth, I get my wisdom cut out of my mouth come Monday morn. Pray for me all you freedom lovers and gauze haters!



Life always seems to change it's course when you're finally starting to figure things out and plan. It's this crazy karma-like whirlwind that picks you up and tosses you in another direction. Yet, you usually don't see the change until after the fact.

This is my crazy karma-like whirlwind:

His name is Ben and he is my change in pace and plan. I don't know how I was ever so lucky to be able to have him be a part of my life, but I'm excited to see where I'll head next in this little adventure!


Yes, I'm going

SeattleFireworks.jpg Seattle Fireworks image by lumenal

Fellow Bloggers, meet the space needle...

Ocean Shores

Along with Ocean Shores, WA where we will be staying.

More insights to my trip are on the way! :)



Wash, Rinse, Repeat.

Wake up at 6:30, get ready for work

Leave to go to work at 7:30

Arrive at work at 8:00

Take lunch break at 12:00, eat your bag lunch by yourself in the BYU Creamery on 9th.

Come back to work at 1:00, pretend there are things to do because you'll get in trouble if you don't look busy, but the work that needs to be done was finished by 9:30.

5:00, leave for home, drive in rush-hour traffic by yourself.

6:00: eat dinner made by mom, and go down to room for a nice slumber, by yourself.

Text Jace after waking up to see what the plan is, plan usually turns out to be sitting together on facebook on her bed.

Come home, go to bed.

Wash, Rinse, Repeat.


Recent Reminiscing.

Nothing like being at home.

Dorking around in my new sanctuary: the Bean Museum Gift Shop.

Laying out on the grass (technically on a dirty museum tablecloth) during my 12:00-1:00 hour of freedom; turkey avacado sandwich in hand, BBQ chips by my side and sun overhead.

Having my first ever bonding moment with my sister (i know, it's kind of ridiculous) over a really creepy eye-twitch performed my Miley Cyrus on Hannah Montana.

Jumping in my bed still in my work clothes to indulge in the last 2 episodes of Secret Life.

Feeling the burn in your abs while you run and elliptical yourself to death.

Receiving a much-needed random phone call from long lost best friend Ashley "Helga" Palmer and coming up with an agenda for happenings tomorrow evening.

Running into an acquaintance at the gym, start talking and then an hour and a half later realize that you've covered the last year of each other's lives. something so fulfilling about hearing about other people's difficulties, triumphs and challenges. perfect talk.

knowing that there are so many good things to come in the upcoming weeks.


College Collage

A few highlights from BYU Freshman year 2009-2010:

Cory and Sam....they're against the honor code.

First, we got tattoos together....
Then we drank together.....

Then we dyed our hair blue together! On the straight and narrow I do say! haha

Exercising our love for "The Bean" by volunteering to be in March's date-night Murder Mystery dinner!

Harry Harry Potta!


Tucanoes with the "4th roomate"--John Patrick Croskrey

Discovered my motherly instincts through caring for my roomies, as shown here.

Girls, I'm so glad we got to spend this year together. i love you guys!


Alright. Enough negative Nelly for me. a few things have gone VERY right in the last little bit. Let me expand.

1. I finished all my finals with a day to spare!

2. I had a great slumber party in our front room with Lair

3. I successfully avoided the creepy mailman today, that continues to ask me out every MW&F without fail.

4. Took myself out on a date to celebrate my freshman year at college last night. Complete with Dinner (Panda), Dessert (Milk duds & Andes Mints, along with fortune cookie from afore-mentioned dinner) and Movie (Princess and the Frog. DARLING)

5. I am pretty sure that I have learned enough about myself and what I need to function and how I like things to be done to last me a lifetime. What a great growing experience college has been!

6. I FINALLY know what my little quirks are!

-I can live off of oatmeal, peanut butter toast and BBQ chips.
-I can't sleep when I'm not in my bed
-I love having natural light in my apartment
-The gym is a secret sanctuary
-I'm an emotional eater (boo on this one)
-I'm a goal-setter. It keeps me going
-Texting someone all throughout the day is bliss for me.

First year of college is over, and looking back, it was pretty dang successful to me! On to the summer adventures.

p.s: Ok, I shouldn't say the mailman is creepy, although every time I log onto F-Book he somehow is logged on to chat and will just strike up a convo! Anyways, he just isn't getting the picture that I don't want to go out with him. It may be time to take drastic measures (cue evil music and a fake boyfriend).

p.p.s: I realized this morning that down the flap beside the zipper on the inside of my pants it reads (going parallel to the zipper)," Lucky You." I'll be sure to wear these on my honeymoon so that the people at Buckle can actually have use for their subliminal messaging. Future husband: please take notice of my zipper on my sky blue cargo pants. Thanks.



.4 more finals to complete.

.having an important texting conversation and the other individual not texting me back.

.feeling used.


.not breaking 100 when bowling.

.realizing that i have to say goodbye to everyone i've met here at college, some to
never see again.

.not being able to go to sleep because i'm feeling so frustrated.

.missing best friend.

.$2.47 in my checking account.

.wanting to cry, scream and sob til i can't breath, but can't seem to get it to come out.

.realizing maybe everyone doesn't really feel the way they tell you they feel. that's the closer.


Great things...

Here are just a few things i really have learned to love in the last bit:

1. Driving down State Street in Pleasant Grove on the first Saturday in April around 9:00 (after priesthood) and looking into Taco Amigo to see a flood of white shirts with priesthood-holders inside them, filling their temporal bellies with all that is taco goodness.

2. BYU zoobie-ness. only here would we cheer, hoot and holler about being voted the most "stone-cold sober school in america." i love that.

3. I've been a little upset about the bi-polarness of good old mother nature lately, for instance today when i woke up there was about an inch of snow powdering the ground, i stormed out into the front room where my dear hilary was snoozing, rudely yanked open the blinds, and simply pointed and stomped my foot at that disgusting sight. But, nevertheless by 1 o clock this afternoon it was warm enough to only wear a light jacket. I liked that. the worst turned into the best.

4. The Bean. i love my job. I work at the Bean Life Science Museum. I am a secretary to the president/head/dean of everything that goes down here. he is the nicest guy. i get to be independent while still working closely with awesome people. i'm learning new super cool secretarial skills while also hanging out with my peeps. yeah baby.

5. having my nails done. i have ugly fingers. they appear to be swollen even when they're not, but when i have these great extensions on the tips of them they make me feel like i'm always dressed up. Not to mention the strange affect they seem to have to the male gender. I've never had so many guys leaning forward when they're sitting next to me as i have when they know i have acrylic wonders on my lame sausages.

6. feeling like someone actually wants me around. now that's the greatest.



You know when you just feel like everything is going right? when you hit all the green lights coming home from school, your mom sends you the sweetest email, you run into a delightful aquaintance in the store, you get your assignments done the night before instead of the day of?

Welcome to my life this week.

I've been so blessed this week it makes me emotional. People have been so supportive of me lately especially since Miss Pleasant Grove. It was a let down, not to do as well as I thought I was going to, but in the end i'm so glad i did it. That pageant taught me SO much about myself, and the biggest thing I learned is this: Doing service feels selfish for me, because i get so much joy and satisfaction from it. I want to keep serving all my life. I'm going to start a service journal. My friend and i were discussing journals the other night in a late night chat and he reminded me that the main reason the brethren encourage us to keep journals is for our posterity. And guess what posterity, service is SO important to me. It helps me think and focus on others, while ultimately helping myself the most. Mohammed Ali said it best:

"Service to others is the rent you pay for your room here on earth."

I truly feel so absolutely blessed to be where I am today. I'm back to being me. I'm back to knowing who I am and what I want and where I want to go. I'm back to being able to care about others way more than I care about myself because I don't feel like I need the most help anymore.

Thank you to anyone who has said an encouraging word to me this last bit. Seriously, every word you typed, wrote or spoke was heard and I appreciate you so much. I wish I could bottle up the feelings I experience when I encounter you kind of selfless people and send it to you, just so you could get a small glimpse of what I am so lucky to be a part of.

I love my heavenly father. don't forget He loves to hear from you. He's the ultimate motivator, let me tell you. and when you turn to Him you are enabling yourself to be the tool in his hands to answer someone else's prayers. don't dull your usefullness by not turning to Him. toodles.


Life as of Late

Well, it's over.

Miss PG finished up last night. It went by SO fast. We were onstage doing the opening number and then quicker than you knew it, we were onstage waiting for the awards to be announced! I didn't make it into the royalty, but I did win the eveningwear portion of the night, nabbing myself a slick 100 bucks. No complaining there! I was so lucky to have so many friends and family there to support me. Seriously it wouldn't have been possible without you. It was a good experience overall though. I'm glad I did it, but i am SO glad it's over too. haha

It's funny, i haven't even planned my life past yesterday. Time to move upward and onward I guess! Congrats to the royalty. You guys deserve it, and I hope you have a GREAT year. :)

As for me, here are my goals and aspirations for the rest of the semester:
1. Keep going to the gym. It's my choice now, and swimsuit season is coming up.

2. Go to the temple every week.
-While we are on this subject, let me just tell you of a new friend i made, that has seriously influenced my life. His name is Mark Malmgren. We met at the freshman housing dance about a month ago and we have been hanging out and talking everyday since. When i met him i just thought he was another funny guy here at BYU, but the more i get to know him, the more i realize how much he knows about himself. He and I have IDENTICAL personalities so i think that's why we get along so well. Anyways, he is so set in his personality and ways. I feel like most of the time I am just struggling to keep my head above water, but he has shown me that when you like or dislike or have an opinion on something that you can let it be known and people will still like you! He's so spiritual too. He's the person that is going to make me go to the temple everyweek, because if we go around 4 on Wednesday like we did this week, then we get to spend about 2 hours just chillin and feeling the spirit. nothing better than that. I'm so lucky to have met him. Mark if you only knew what you really have helped me think about...

3. STUDY. let's be honest: I'm not a studier. This is another thing that Mark has taught me. He is ALWAYS studying. literally. and that's why he gets no less than a 98% on all his tests! insane little bugger, but i'm going to try to be better. And now i am done talking about mark. haha

4. Serve. i've learned through miss pg that i am the happiest when i am doing things for others and opening my heart and giving my time to them. when you're thinking about others, things seem to just kind of pan out in your life. at least that's how it's come for me.

5. Budget. i need to save my money. if i'm going to take a trip this summer i need to save. as a matter of fact, if i'm going to go to school in the fall i need to save. i'm growing up. sickness.

Back to regular life. and i agree with my friend hilary. i have won the parent lottery. thanks mom and dad for everything you've done for me and i'm sure there will be countless numbers of hours of help in the future also. i love you guys.

p.s.: Mark and i aren't dating. haha i know it kinda sounds like that. just friends.


MY blog.

Just for all you people out there that are wondering....this is MY blog.

Not mine and my mom's.

Not mine and Hilary's.


MINE. about me.

Thank you for your time.


What have I gotten myself into?

Miss PG.
It has changed my life. I've done 55+ hours of service in the last couple of weeks, have lost 10 lbs, and yet, i went into our workshop for the pageant and felt completely and totally unprepared.
I completely embarrassed myself.
My talent is a complete disaster, I'm slipping all over the place when I walk, my shoes catch on my dress, who knows what I'm going to wear for interview.
I am feeling absolutely inadequate and almost regretting signing up.
Don't get me wrong, I've loved having something to look forward to and work for, and the service aspect is great, but it's all the material stuff that I feel so unprepared for and I have 14 days.
I need a miracle.


i love a good shout out

Here's a little halla back at the best proofreader around.
love you (soon to be) Elder Pericle.


Oh happy day

Today it came!
The letter.
it's been 3 weeks and 4 days since i'd heard from him, but i got 4 pages of Tony to read. YAY!
I know, it may seem like sometimes i am just so down on life, but seriously this is the only place where i get to act down. I'm not the kind of person to act sad when i'm actually sad. i put on a really good face, and get over it.
"Outta sight, outta mind" is kinda my motto.
Except when it comes to tony. he just has to be on my mind all the time. ugh. but i kinda like it. haha
i'm laying in my bed at my parents house right now, and i completely forgot how good it felt to be here. i love my big bed and free laundry and food. and i love my family of course.
it was sunny today which was really nice.
i almost forgot how many people actually went to BYU during the winter. it seemed like people only existed in the ten minutes before each hour. but today, seeing as it was 50 degrees outside, people were taking naps on the grass, studying outside, and even stopping to talk to one another. there is seriously nothing i like more than walking across BYU campus when my classes are finished and just looking around. it is BEAUTIFUL. i really suggest just taking a walk around the good ol' Y to get you thinkin.
Things are looking up. :)



i have been in a very contemplative and reflective mood as of late, and i thought i ought to share the things that i am realizing i am SO grateful for thanks to this time i've spent thinking:

1. My roommates. Two words: "Despicable me" :)

2. My parents. they ALWAYS support me

3. Ashley. we always have good laughs together, and she always says the right thing.
i love you helg.

4. Miss pg. again, it's so weird that i'm thankful for something that would seem so fake, but really, it's changing my life.

5. a missionary. even though we may not be anywhere near to where i thought we could be, i still am so thankful for his example and he keeps me striving to be better.

6. Matt, Nick and Andrew. These boys are my best friends and i love just being able to go over to their apartment and talk about everything and anything with them. i love you guys.

7. sky. you're such a thoughtful person and focused on the right things. you're such an example to me.

8. my Heavenly Father. i'm so thankful for the church, and the strength i get from doing what's right.

Happiness often sneaks in through a door you didn't know you left open. ~John Barrymore



Yes. i know that my blog says trial all over it. i designed this template all on my own, and then what happens? the program says "free trial". Who knew that they really meant i would get many free downloads of the word trial spanning my whole new, cute layout. not me. yay for trials. not.

Strange Realizations.

Today has been an interesting day.
I woke up, knew exactly what I wanted to wear, showered and got ready in record time, and then went off to work. I somehow missed the info that it was scheduled to rain and sleet and snow all day though, so of course, the cute outfit i had planned didn't have a hood, and i didn't have an umbrella. I walked a mile in the sleet to my class and back, making my hair a tangled, damp mess and taking all conviction right out of me.
After that depressing outing, i came home to my lovely apartment, made myself a pita and talked with my roomate. Hil and i get along so well it's a very nice breath of fresh air having her around. Anyways, our underneath neighbor Lyse asked if I would do an interview for her about Miss Pleasant Grove for her Communications class I think (Sorry Lyse, i don't really remember). She came up and we were just chit chatting about the process and the judging etc. Then we got into talking about the pageant, like REALLY talking about it and I got this overwhelming feeling of pride and peace. The feeling of knowing that this really is what i am supposed to be doing at this time. It seriously has been so good for me to be involved in this program. I have gotten back to the core of what I believe in and what I think is most important; something that i have put on the back burner for the longest time. I feel like i have learned SO much about myself from being able to grow in so many different aspects that have to do with this competition.
I know that it's weird to say that a scholarship pageant could have been sent my way by a loving Father in Heaven, but really, it totally was. I'm so excited to do this, and to have people be proud of my accomplishment. Just getting ready for the pageant is a task in itself, and i'm so excited to get to be involved in something that i really do feel passionate about and that i'm looking forward to working towards. Thanks to everyone who has even acted interested in this for me. it really means a lot to me.

The church is true.



This is what i feel like i'm doing right now.

-waiting for the pageant to come around
-waiting for my next paycheck
-waiting for a letter
-waiting for my body to start cooperating with my dieting again

just waiting. ugh.

Prom 2009. One of the best dates EVER.

Silly Crazy Boy.


One of the absolute best nights of my life.

So little back then. so fun.

i miss tony so much it's ridiculous. like seriously. he haunts my dreams and my every move. i think of him probably every minute. anything anyone says reminds me of him. it's getting to the point where it's kind of unbearable, and i really can't stand it! Luckilly i have some really good friends and people behind me to keep my chin up, but when it gets dark is when the feelings really get out of control. i miss him terribly. i miss his immature jokes, i miss his belly laugh, i miss us being the same height and him insisting that he's so much taller. i miss teasing him. i miss him holding me. i miss sharing everything with him. i miss being able to talk to him about whatever whenever. i miss by best friend.

after i had that whole realization that maybe we won't get married like i've always thought we would, i thought it would get so much easier, but no. it almost got harder now that i'm leaning on him in so much of a different way now. it's only been 2 months. seriously, this is about the worst thing ever. go missions.




It's time to change how we think about those with disabilities in our community. This is my platform for Miss Pleasant Grove. We all need to watch what we say. :)


Miss P.G

On January 15, 2010 I made a decision that i NEVER would have thought i would make. i decided to participate in the Miss Pleasant Grove scholarship pageant.

In my life I have always had some sort of goal to work towards or something to keep me busy and i feel that here at my time at BYU i lost that sense to working for something. So, when my ex-vocal instructor suggested that i do miss pg, i dismissed it at first, but then thought about it some more and realized that it could be something fun to work towards! So, i signed the paper and started the process. Here's my team:

Nutritionist/personal trainer: Jessie Walters. She is my aunt that everyone in my family says that i look like. she is insane with health and working out and such. she has me on a workout diet and a cool workout schedule and i check in with her every week. 9 lbs down. :) it feels good to just know that she thinks i can do this.

Hostess/confidante: Angela Sanders. She was my high school drill coach and won miss PG when she was in college and helps me out with EVERYTHING. she's so amazing and i'm excited to get to go through this with her help.

Pageant Coach: Tewa Wride. Tewa is the queen of pageants. she is currently helping 10 different contestants get prepared for Miss Utah. She knows everything about interview and talent and presenting yourself well.

News and Info Coordinator: Geret Giles. My dad. he's always been so supportive of my drive and my goals and tries to help out in any way that he can. WE talk about things that are going on in the world to get me ready for my interview. I haven't been very good at communicating with him, but i will be. :)

Assistant extroidinaire: Kelley Giles. My mom. She has been there to support me every step of the way and keep my hopes up of actually doing this. I'm very excited to try something so out of my comfort zone...and hers. :)

I'll definitely keep you posted on the ins and out of the pageant life. toodles


February the 3rd

Today my mother said, in these exact words, "Honey! You're so mature!"

Yes. I am mature. Huzzah!!

Thats all.

teehee. :)



Well here we are again. Me doing stupid things and learning my lessons. After Tony left i figured out a few things about him that he wasn't very honest about and i was upset. When a best friend lies to you it hurts, but when the best friend is someone who you wanted to marry someday it hurts even worse. I had come to the conclusion that i was going to stop writing him, tell him he was a horrible person, and that i didn't want to associate with someone who treated me that way. Of course shortly after i learned that that wasn't the way to do things. a few days after i had my breakdown i recieved a letter from Elder Holman. I hadn't written him back from his last letter and I could tell that he was struggling. as i read his letter i just cried thinking about how selfish i was to think that i had a right to take my support away from him when he is trying something completely new and needs my help more now than ever. I may not be writing for love, but for friendship and i think his letter definitely helped me find that out. Just being supportive is everything he needs right now. Encouraging words, a few updates from home and my life, and a lot of prayer goin his way.

Don't give up on these guys. No matter what happens, they always need a little love from back home.


Things to do:

-Keep up on homework

-Keep positive

-Give my heart to someone who actually cares

-Lose 17 lbs by March 20th

-Make the Lord come first

-Accomplish something no one ever thought i would or could do


-Be Proud of Me.


Mysterious Ways

Let's be honest. This week was not the best for me. AT ALL.
Let us start off with the fact that everything i thought i knew about someone was flushed down the drain. the worst part is that i am left here to cope with this alone. i can't contact him, i can't scream at him, i can't even write my feelings to him because it would be a "distraction". note to any missionaries: please do NOT hide ANYTHING from the people that know the most about you, cuz when they find out you can kiss any security you have had in the past goodbye.

Secondly, i got super sick. for some reason it was time for me to break down to the lowest levels my body could handle. i got really bad headaches and chills and fever. then it turned into neck cramping so severe that i couldn't even move my neck, and then to a super sore throat with "nasty virus lymphnodes" as my doctor later informed me. all in all, i sat on my couch for 3 days straight icing and heating and icing and heating. Today is Monday and i am feeling 10000% better. but now for the part that i really wanted to share with you.

My good friend Matt Relei is one of the nicest boys I know. he is from northern california and is on the football team here at the Y. (Yeah, remember Relei R-E-L-E-I, cuz it'll be a big name soon i'm sure)everytime i see him he's got a hug and a huge smile to share with me. Friday night i was sitting on the couch icing my neck when a heard a snowball hit my window. i hobbled over to see matt sitting there smiling at me. i told him to come upstairs and we just talked and laughed for a while. it was really nice to have company and feel like someone really cares.

After Matt left this boy from my english class named Chris came over. Chris is an RM from Washington. We really hit it off in our class because there are a record low 11 people in my class, we've been hanging out for a while and when he heard that i was sick he rushed over. i have never been so attended to in my life. he would change my ice for me, help me situate, anything. I've never felt so much really compassion from someone except for my mom of course. He really cares, and it's really sweet.

Also we had a cleaning check this night and i was in no shape to get down and clean and so my angel of a roommate did some of my cleaning for me. she truly is heaven-sent. i love you.

Saturday started out fine until about 2 o clock when my neck froze up again. i took a nap and was fine and went out with lyndsie. when we got back my throat was killing, i was feeling really needy and just sad. i sat in my room and cried for a good long while until i did the absolute last thing i could think of, i called Nick and Andrew and had them give me a blessing. Boys here at BYU are insanely great. i texted nick at 11:24 and they were here by 11:33. they were so willing to help out, even if i did kinda freak them out by crying and stuff, but they gave me a blessing and i really did feel better. The preisthood helps. it is REAL.

My loving mother has been keeping tabs on me every step of the way the whole time i've been sick so sunday morning when i said i needed to go to the doctor, she was on it. She made me an appointment, got me all set up and tucked me in for some good old fashioned home loving. my mom is so good at being a mom. she knows what to say, what to do and how to stay calm. i only wish i could be half the lady she is. i love you.

Today was a much better day. I didn't hardly have any pain from the sickness, i got up on time, started to eat healthy and worked out. Just when i actually thought that the blessings could cease, they didnt:

Lynds and i were watching TV when we got doorbell-ditched by a young man, luckily we saw him running away so i could thank him, but it was matt. He left these on my doorstep, with star bursts attached. they say "You Burst my Star, If i had a starburst for every person as nice as you i would only have 1, because you are that one!"
The Lord works in mysterious ways world. make sure you thank him for them.